As read at the funeral. (Alex's is below)
Ross
'A Man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night, and in between does what he wants to do.'
Playing cricket in the Broadway and Horton Vice Presidents team against the local hunt 2 years ago: The club captain was asked the batsman's surname by the scorer to which he replied L-E-G-E-N-D. I'm sure he was talking about my dad also. The word has cropped up in many peoples comments.
It's funny how things stay with you. Waking up early and being thrown into the Camel estuary to waterski at 7.30 in the morning was cold and not fun. The rewards being a hot chocolate and croissant. Always a drive to learn, endeavour and try new things.
Dad was innovative and keen to 'have a coup'. So when they teed up Wet Bob to win at Leicester Races the cash was won, with nowhere to store his gains, he stuffed it down my romper suit, took the journey back west, lifted me upside down and shook the loot upon the floor.
Scotland was a big part of his life, travelling to the Borders from a young age. Trips to Peebles, Innerleithen and Edinburgh became folklore, which passed onto me. Food, drink, golf, fishing, racing, our relationships with landlords, hotel owners, chefs and locals in the pub. Wonderful support in marathons telling me to 'lengthen my stride' and not finish 'hard held'! Tactics were imperative. The Military Tattoo shone each year, St Mary's Loch, any form of gambling, his ability to talk to anyone showed at the 'Chicken Shed' bar at Kelso races when amidst lagers and gin chasers - he was able to compare fractures and sprains with a stable lass with an outsider in the last. She laughed enormously.
One October afternoon at Taunton Races. A place he loved. My chef pals and I were losing heavily until dad held court between races 4 and 5. He called a horse in the last, stating 'understand the rules chaps, this horse will win!' With no form to speak of, we took head and put our last pennies on and it won doing cartwheels. A raucous night in the pub ensued!
Most of the year was spent deciphering who would stay 3miles 2furlongs up the Cheltenham hill on the second Friday in March. After 55 years of watching, luck would have it that wonderful friends would own a dual Gold Cup winner and he'd meet them and the Champion Trainer. Great things happened around us. 'We were there moments'. An invite to the Royal Box this year tickled him pink. Unable to make it, he gave me no option, adamant that I would go. It proved a very important and beautiful day.
His generosity and hospitality was gargantuan. His love of life and people was incredible. One cider festival, when we had 70 people at the Old Manse, we stood at the end of the garden Gatsby-esque - the idea to step back and watch ones friends enjoy a party or your party was a privilege - citing 'good friends, food and drink: I think we've cracked it!' That's my Dad.
HE REALLY WAS A GREAT MAN AND MY BEST FRIEND.
He did mention to me, a memorial service in the future, if you think anyone would bother to come!
Thank you Ross, and Dad would be so proud, and I am so grateful for how you have supported him and I over the last few weeks months. You were an absolute rock and enabled Dad to fulfil his wish and be at home.
It now moves to me to share a few of my memories of Dad, and what has become clear over the last few weeks was how loved he was by so many. And whilst there are restrictions on numbers here, I know several people are watching online and I can only emphasise that Ross and I will be coordinating an amazing celebration and thank you from us all at the appropriate time.
When I think about all the amazing memories I have of Dad - and I feel blessed to have those - there are a couple of common threads that weave their way through them. Some things that stand out again and again.
Firstly, is that so many of them are linked to him being surrounded by his friends and all of the support and love he gave them - because Dad's friends were so important to him.
One of Dad's favourite quotes was:
'Life is mostly froth and bubble
Two things stand like stone
Kindness in another's trouble
Courage in our own'
Through all the messages we have received and when you were with Dad you knew he cared, he cared about what you were doing, when you were doing it and normally had a fairly strong opinion to share on how you were doing it.
I remember several occasions that I had got into that were not quite straight forward or required a bit of a leap, my move to Manchester from Twickenham being one (Manchester definitely being outside of the agreed radius to 'live' and almost another country). Dad's initial reaction was along the lines of 'why an earth would you want to do that' - but after speaking to him a couple of days later, after careful consideration and seeking guidance from the back bar of the dog and duck, he supported me and felt it could be a good move and actually he knew someone who used to work there and there were several areas he would recommend not to live in!!
And that was one of Dad's strengths he had a wide network of friends from the Borders in Scotland to Shropshire to meeting up for the 50th reunion with Oxford Poly friends to the various racetracks across the UK. His kind heart and warmth opened lots of doors and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to support his friends and family.
Similarly, the other common thread in my memories of Dad is his courage and the courage he inspired in me, Ross and everyone around him. I will talk about his own bravery shortly but what was infectious in Dad was his ability to instil belief and confidence in others. After speaking to Dad you came away thinking you were 'going to have a bit of a do' whether it was growing the best tomato plants, buying some land, taking the next step in your business or career or becoming a millionaire from the 3.40 at Newton Abbot - his unequivocal belief in either you or a positive outcome was amazing and is a rare gift in someone.
And then of course there was his own courage and bravery. The way he took on his Parkinson’s diagnosis and latterly managed his cancer - it was a lesson to us all. His good humour shone throughout as did his high spirits, and his concern for not upsetting others and positive outlook (the glass was always half full......and quite often very full at home). This despite hospital visits and treatments all of which were unthinkable to him a few years ago.
I am so proud - and in awe - of how he managed himself. His strength of mind and ability to find a way through and one that worked for him was honesty inspiring.
And I would like to personally thank Katie and Malcom for their courage in helping and caring for Dad over the last month. You showed great kindness and courage when Dad needed it - and we all thank you.
To finish, while his commitment and dedication to his friends and family, and his infectious courage and glass half full approach to life's challenges connect so many of my memories of him together, my memories are also full of other things - smaller things - little details about Dad - that I find myself missing so much already.
And to honour his memory and all our memories of him, I know that he would want me to ask everyone who loved him to show the same bravery and positive attitude as we all try in our own ways come to terms with life without him. That feels like a fitting legacy of a man so full of life and love.
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